Hell in a Handcart – Chapter four

Chapter four: Don’t trust someone further than you can throw them

The other girls also had their complaints and the interns found solace in their friendship. They often aired their complaints to each other and swore that they weren’t going to let him use them like that.


But the other interns’ supervisors didn’t get notified until after Beastly refused to pay their salary for the month. He tried to make it sound like his “man” was out of the country on vacation, and he would get in touch with him as soon as he came back.

     “Yeah, sure,” Right-Devil said.

     “Can’t believe he thought they would take him on his word, after all he’s done,” Left-Angel added.

Well, he wasn’t the sharpest tool in the box, that is true. And of course, the girls didn’t believe him for a second. They all emailed their supervisors that very same day.

After a bit of pressure from the supervisors, the money was in their accounts a few days later. Funny how he suddenly was able reach his man on vacation, right?


Beastly was getting more and more demanding by the day. He wanted the girls to come into the office at 5 in the afternoon and work full hours at times. On those days, Mae couldn’t even get home until very late. Which is a real problem for her-

     “Because of her sleeping problems,” Left-Angel interrupted.

     Yes. I was going to say that.

     “My apologies,” Left-Angel said.

Then he suddenly wanted them to come in on a Saturday! Yes, you read this correctly: a Saturday. The weekend. The days people have to relax. Or when you are a student, the days when people work part-time. So he wanted them to blow off work and come work for him instead.


All of this started to really put a strain on Mae’s sanity. More often than not, she was fantasizing about killing Beastly, in very beastly ways.

     “Right there with you, sister!” Right-Devil exclaimed.

     “That’s because you put those thoughts into her head!” Left-Angel accused.

     “Can’t put anything in there that’s not already there,” Right-Devil said defensively. “Let’s look at a few of my favourites!”


 Mae sawed through the tendons of Beastly’s limbs with her pocket knife. He kept on begging her to stop, but she wouldn’t. In fact, whenever she had managed to saw off a limb, she immediately magically healed him again. It was torture really.

 She shrugged. He deserved it. He deserved it all. And besides, it all happened in this Fantasy world of her own making. No one would ever know.

 After a while she took pity on his and decided not to sow his severed head back on again to make him suffer. No, she had a better idea. He always had a stick up his butt, now she’d ram a stick up his head.

 When she was finished, she smiled, her fangs glistening in the moonlight. Ah yes, she liked the sight of an impaled head. After all: she was Mae the Impaler.


     “You shall not pass!” Mae screamed, wielding her staff to defend herself from the attack from the Beast of Orgoth.

     “To be honest, I thought that that was just a little too heavy-handed,” Right-Devil cut in.

     “I am the protector of the Realm and you shall not pass to the other side, you demon!” Mae said.

The Beast yelled in some alien language and charged. But Mae was quick and nimble. She smacked the Beast of Orgoth in the face with her staff and the Beast was flung from the bridge of Doom.

     “Lazy,” Left-Angel commented.

As its body hit the boiling lava, the Beast let out a mournful groan and went under. Never to be seen again.


     “Who dares to enter the Temple of Sanity?” Mae asked of her skulking foe. “Who dares desecrate the Hall of Inner Peace?”

When there was no answer, she turned, her blind eyes unseeing. The Beast master smiled as he saw her blindness, imagining her slow death. But the blindness of his opponent deceived him.

When she struck, he was surprised by her precision and roared in pain as she hooked her fingers into his eyeballs.

     “Wait!” he said. “Wait. I promise never to return!”

     “Fool! You already broke that promise. Now you must pay the price,” Mae replied coldly as she tore out his eyes.

Crying tears of blood, the Beast master begged for his freedom, for his life.

     “You shall have life,” Mae said. “You shall have it, after you eat your eyes.”

And she stuffed the slimy orbs into his mouth. Slowly, the man started chewing.

     “I can’t possibly be the only one who finds these murderous fantasies very disturbing,” Left-Angel said. “And she’s such a nice girl!”

     “Still waters run deep,” Right-Devil said. “Silent people are dangerous.”



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